Sunday, December 26, 2010

A Cup that holds so much...

I have been AWOL for a few days and I am feeling amiss. So I preface that this post has the potential of having an overflow of ideas, thoughts, and emotions but here goes.

I missed my thankful Fridays. So for that here are my top 5.

1. Wonderful friends and family that give me so much love and support
2. Computers… haha (this is a very love/hate relationship but I am thankful)
3. Secret presents that I really surprised my daughters with
4. Family memories, past and present
5. Just like Scrooge, that I can find a change of heart when I see the true meaning

My last item brings me to my next step. Ok I will admit now that I was Ebenezer Scrooge this year. I tried at first to fight it. My daughter and I put up the outside lights on my birthday; the tree was put up but waited to be decorated; I put a few decorations up in my office at work and went to the Christmas Party…

UGH. But my Christmas Spirit was weak at best. And then just like Ebenezer, I was visited by three Spirits.

First on Christmas Eve, my daughter met me at work and we went to a fabulous store downtown.

It has been a tradition since my girls were little that I would get a few fun stocking stuffer items there. Well carpooling has cramped my style and I could not get there until my daughter took me this year. We had so much fun laughing and see the different items they have. Ok so that was the Spirit of Christmas Past

Still left with some major Baa Humbug.. I did not go to a family gathering Christmas Eve. My work day had frustrated me and I was feeling sorry for myself and did not want to be out late so I stayed home.. I believe first time since the first year I met my husband more than 27 years ago. When they got home they told me of the nice time they had, the family, and the presents they brought to me.. I felt terrible.. The Spirit of Christmas Present haunted me.

On Christmas Eve, guilt was eating at my heart. I knew I was a true Scrooge but could not help mysef!! We finally did decorate the tree. And as we put up the ornaments, my heart was hurting more. We put up the ones we have had for the girls “ First Christmas” and the ones they made through the years with their pictures and then the family ones with all of us and our names. In the boxes were some broken ones. As is our tradition, we put our nativity scene under the tree, it is the Holy Family. First it is the tree skirt with the word HOPE placed down, then the cotton with Mary and Joseph placed just so. It was not midnight yet, so we don’t put baby Jesus out. This year when I looked at the little family, I really felt a missing part. Time will pass and we may not get a chance to be together again so I better not look at these days bitter about work or lack of money or frustrated family members. I love my family and would miss them dearly if I weren’t here. AH.. the Spirit of Christmas Future.
Christmas day came.. I felt sad for being such a Scrooge but wanted to change. So first I helped my younger daughter with some baking and we had fun creating unique ways to wrap her gifts of baked treats. (yummy) Then we went over to my sister and brother-in-law’s house, it was BEAUTIFUL! Decorated so magically, the tree, the Santa table, the dining room, the mashed potato snowman (I wished I had a picture!), the outside CHRISTMAS HIPPOTOMUS!!! I had a fabulous time. I am truly blessed and promise never to take that for granted again!

And my faith tells me this that it is in the giving that you receive. So this is the last of my story today. We could not do much this year so I was very frustrated to think of gifts for my girls. I know there are IPADs, UGG boots, or many things that would be the IT gift but not in the finances this year. This is what did happen. First my younger daughter will be finishing high school soon and has been looking into colleges. She knows the financial situation and is looking to stay close, go to a local community college which is fine. However, deep in her heart I know she would love to go to a private college she likes in Colorado. She is very good at keeping stuff inside. Well, I went on-line and bought a sweatshirt from the college. When she opened it up, her eyes lighted up. She put it on right then. I cannot say what will happen in the future, we just wanted her to know that she must remember to make her own future and believe. I think she will do just that. Next is my older daughter, I cannot keep anything from her. She wants to know everything.. (apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) She always finds my hiding places for gifts. IT MAKES ME SO MAD.. but NOT THIS YEAR!!! Because of my Scrooge mindset, I put off till the last minute but I made her a mini album. Putting it together was a labor of love, from the beginning cover of U and me. She loves everything animal. She has since a little one, hence the animal prints and theme.


Can not believe this is almost 23 years ago!!

Wow, 80's hair..  wish I had the much hair today.

Years may go by, but she still loves kitties!

Even Cats in Hats!!!

Grew up so fast.

Maybe not as a Vet like she dreamed then but I know I will be seeing her one day in that white doctor's outfit.

Love of animals and adventure has not changed.

Yep, she will always be the big sister!

Chillin' in Maui, a memory I love!


Too funny, chillin' in Yosemite another memory that brings a smile to my face.

There were more pages of special memories. The back cover was fun to make

When she opened it she was so surprised. SHE HAD NO IDEA. She cried, I cried and I promise to remember this Christmas and try never to be Scrooge again!!

1 comment:

Erin in Morro Bay said...

Sometimes those Christmases when we have the least in a monetary fashion turn out to be the ones the whole family remembers mostly fondly. It sounds like you did a great job of coming through on the day when it counted. Give yourself a pat on the back. Sounds like you've raised two wonderful daughters!